You heard the expression, "If life throws you lemon—make lemonade." Well, thanks to the Weekly World News—the
same publication that gave us headlines such as "MEAT-EATING LIONS
DEVOUR VEGETARIAN MISSIONARIES," and "WOMAN FINDS DEAD LEPRECHAUN IN A
JAR!"—we may have a new, if somewhat raunchier, twist on the familiar
saying. The Dec. 28 issue of the weekly tabloid proclaimed: "SCIENTIST CREATES DIAMONDS FROM DOG POOP!"
According to the tabloid, a Dr. Florence Gurnley, founder of
Caninegems (location not given, Web search shows no listing of the
company or the person) has claimed to have a "machine" that can convert
a few pounds of dog poop into "a diamond of perfect color and clarity."
"We can create a 2-carat diamond suitable for an engagement
ring that might cost $8,000 in a jewelry store—for as little as $50,"
the doctor reportedly bragged to the tabloid, which has given us such
exclusives as "DUCK HUNTERS SHOOT ANGEL!"
Gemologists are said to have examined the man-made stones and
reportedly confirmed "that even the most experienced jeweler would be
unable to distinguish them from high-quality natural diamonds,"
according to the tabloid, which in 2003 declared: "HOTCAKES NO LONGER
SELLING WELL."
"These diamonds are absolutely dazzling," one "top" unnamed
gemologist told the tabloid. "But I made sure that I washed my hands
after I handled them." Gurnley refuses to divulge details of the technology to the
newspaper, only saying that the process is similar to a "cutting-edge
technique for creating industrial diamonds known as chemical vapor
deposition." "Diamond crystals are formed from carbon atoms," she explained to the tabloid, "and dog droppings are packed with carbon."- - Just remember,"when it's to good to be true..."
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